I Am Asking You To Believe In Impossible Things

plain-flavoured-english

smokedsalmoniloveyou

@presidentofthehotgirlclub not a kitty video, but i think you'll like this if you haven't seen it already

ramdomcitizen

"There are no monsters in the sea, only the ones we make up in our own heads" Bless you, ma'am.

mihrsuri

@lemonsharks

marlynnofmany

That is absolutely a kitty video. Sea kitties.

but are they smooth??? sharks videos

killing-hannibals-body

ghostisredacted

so ive been pretty damn curious abt this for a while

did anyone else get absolutely fucked up during 7th grade or is it just me

yes

no it was pretty okay for me

kinda

i dont know/see results

reblog for sample size btw yadda yadda THE USUAL

achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily

transgayhawkeyepierce

Everyone reblog with your most unemployable traits

chronically late i'm afraid

venusdryad

charlesoberonn

First part of a Twitter thread by @SamAsIAm: "A friend who is a municipal arborist just called to tell me about a guy who cut down 32 big mature trees on his neighbor's NJ property to get a better view of NYC. He hired a guy who hired another guy. Cut them down and left the debris there. The fine per tree is $1000 so the 1/ 2/ guy propably thought he was going to just pay a $32k fine. But the arborist wrote violations to all 3 parties, 96 in all (by hand, took him 12 hours) and there's a provision requiring the replanting of like trees "of the same size." And it's on an inaccessible by road"

Continuation of Twitter thread by @SamAsIAm: "3/ mountainside. He put the affronted landowner in touch with the only guy who would take on such a job. Thry have to build a road, remove the debris, plant big trees and water them for two years. He quoted $1.5 million. And additional fines total $400k. I hope whoever this ass 4/4 is he can't pay and they lien and sell his property, the value of which he probably figured would be increased so much a $32k fine was worth it, to cover the cost. We are living in the Jaime Dimon ethos. "So fine us, we can afford it. 4/5 The PS to this is I was just given a zoom link to the 1st court hearing tomorrow. I'm not sure if it's just for trail participants or spectators can use it, but if they let me observe I'll add more. It doesn't appear to have been picked up by any news source yet."

Quote Tweet by @ParSpec: "Apparently NOBODY ELSE IN THE QUOTE TWEETS RESPECTS TRADITION ENOUGH TO POST THE TREE LAW COMIC"

A 1-page comic by u/reachling: Panel 1: A saddenned person with short hair looking at a tree stump, their hands are holding the sides of their head. They're saying "Oh no! The rare cherry tree grandma brought with her from the old country! It's been chooped down!!" and then in another speech bubble "And only a week after the new neighbor complained about it blocking his view too!" Panel 2: The young person turns around with a befuddled look on their face. A speech bubble from the bushes says "Tree law?" Panel 3: A bald bearded lawyer with a suit and briefcase looks from behind a picket fence and says "Tree law?" Panel 4: Another lawyer with shades pops their head from inside the bushes and says "Tree law?!" Panel 5: Another lawyer crawls from under the stump with a briefcase and says "Tree law!!" Panel 6: The four lawyers carry the young person above them. The person is looking confused. Two of the lawyers are holding pitchforks and torches. Around them are raining dollar bills. The lawyers are chanting "Tree! Law! Tree! Law!"

Art by u/reachling

winstonta

missmentelle

“If it’s so hard to be homeless, how come they all have nicer phones than I do?”

If you work with the homeless, you hear this sentiment a lot. A lot.

Everyone who hates seeing their tax dollars go to the needy seems to think that this is the ultimate “gotcha”. How can that person possibly be homeless if they have a nice cell phone? How can homelessness really be so bad if you have an Android? How can social programs be underfunded when their clients have iPhones?

You want to know why the homeless have smartphones? There’s a couple of good reasons:

It’s leftover from a previous, more stable life. Homeless people aren’t video game characters, they don’t just spawn on street corners, fully formed. Most people do not experience long-term homelessness - the average homeless person is on the streets for less than a month. These are people who used to have jobs, apartments, cars, etc, until some sort of catastrophe put them on the street. You might lose your apartment or car, but most people own their cellphone outright, and can hang onto it when something bad happens.
It was given to them by a concerned family member or friend. Most homeless people do actually have non-homeless family members and friends who care about them. Their family might not be able to let that person live with them at the moment, due to addiction or mental health problems, but they still need a way to get in touch with that person and check in on them. Giving them a cellphone is the easiest way to do that.
It was picked up second-hand. People upgrade to the newest device all the time, and when they do that, many of them will sell their old phones. It’s easy to find cheap, secondhand cellphones on the internet or in pawn shops, and they’re a valuable tool worth having.
It was given out by a social services agency or charity. When you work with the homeless, getting in touch with them is one of the biggest challenges you face. You need to be able to get hold of them at a moment’s notice to let them know about appointments, openings in important programs, updates on applications, and all sorts of other crucial information. Instead of wasting hours and gas driving around looking for people the old-fashioned way, many social agencies just give out cheap phones to their clients, to make sure that they can always contact them.
It doesn’t have a plan. Many people who see a homeless person on a cell phone assume that that person is also paying for a costly phone and data plan. That’s usually not the case. Many homeless people use pay-as-you-go phone minutes that they can top up whenever they happen to have the money. Even without any minutes, phones are valuable - free public wifi can be used to make phone calls, look up information and stay in contact with friends.
It’s for emergencies. By federal law, even old, deactivated cell phones are able to place calls to 911. Sleeping rough is dangerous, and it never hurts to have a phone nearby, even if its only use is to call for help.

Cell phones are probably the single most useful tool any homeless person can have - you can use them to look for shelter openings, hunt for jobs, navigate transit, stay connected to friends, find resources and information, remember appointments, wake yourself up on time, call for help, and entertain yourself through long and boring days. They are an essential tool, not a luxury item, and it’s unfair to suggest that homeless people somehow aren’t suffering just because they have one.

Instead of asking why that homeless person has a phone, ask yourself why they don’t have a safe place to sleep tonight.

adhbabey

This goes for poor or financially unstable people with nice things. They deserve nice things.

amuseoffyre

Had a slightly blazing row with my family about this when they said that no real refugee would have a mobile and they were all fake, trying to get into the country illegally. There were… words had.

bodhimcbodeface

I had this conversation with a fourth-grade class one time. I said, “Do you know what costs more than a phone?” and they said, “A house,” and that was the end of that.